Jesus Camp: What Did Potter Do?

So I'm watching Jesus Camp with an open mind. Probably because it is 3 in the morning and I'm still sugar buzzed from ice cream cake almost four hours ago. But anyway, here I am with my open mind. And there is a...large...lady talking about sin. And kids crying because they are being "saved" by Jesus. And school teachers preaching Creationism. And they are praying to Jesus that their Powerpoint system doesn't break down. And the most anti-liberal brainwashing bullshit ever. But here I am with my open mind. I'm thinking "well, okay, fine. It is their right to think this. It is their right to live like this. And, hell, even if I don't like it, it is their right to teach their children this. And they probably don't like me that much for being a gay-loving, pro-choice commie liberal."

And THEN this lady opens her mouth. And she says that Harry Potter is a sinner. He is not a hero. He does not stand for good or justice. And I'm thinking "WHAT? Harry Potter is every little kid's hero! He is a symbol for what every kid wishes he or she could go out and achieve! Harry Potter fucking rocks." And then I think back to the end of the seventh book, when Harry decides that he is willing to sacrifice his life for the good of the world, and he steps in front of Lord Voldemort's wand unarmed. So, to stretch the truth, Harry is essentially laying down his life in front of the Lord for the good of humankind. Take that, Jesus Camp!

Sweeney Todd

Disgustingly fantastic and fantastically disgusting.

Fabulously haunting and hauntingly fabulous.

Brilliantly scary and scarily brilliant.

Half the cast of 'Harry Potter', the darkest humor one could find, and Tim Burton.

People Pies!

In the Kitchen, Boiling Society...

I heard the epilogue to Crime and Punishment was bad.
"Shannanagins," I thought.
So I finally just grew a pair and read it.
I heard right.
It's kind of like my initial refusal to go see Across the Universe.
I should have just gone with my gut.
So now I'm just busy pretending it doesn't exist.

Something to Ponder...

I have a pal named Christopher.  More or less than three days ago, he was nearly run over by our English teacher, who just so happens to hate the pair of us.   Anyway, I am about to turn in a paper to said teacher.  She will hate it, but I figure I will post a small bite as food for thought.  The paper is on Crime and Punishment.  If you haven't read it, then please do.

Raskolnikov’s bitter attitude yet somewhat clean conscience displays his obvious loyalty to Nihilism.  He believes that if he were to have had stronger convictions and not confessed, his actions would therefore have not been a crime.  This is an interesting point.  A common cliche is “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  Could the same not be true for crime?  Could not crime be solely in the eye of the beholder, and society just plays to the “eyes” of the common people?  If being a “sinner” depends on one’s definition of a “saint”, then perhaps one’s definition of a criminal depends on one’s definition of a crime.  If Raskolnikov was the ubermensch and had stronger conviction in the crime he committed, then he would essentially have been able to forgive himself.  However, he strips himself of his rights to the crime he commits when he conforms and confesses.  To Raskolnikov, the crime is confession, and the punishment is eternal remorse.

Pushing Daisies

This brilliant show came on the scene earlier this fall, and I have been addicted ever since.  Clever yet slightly creepy humor is reminiscent of the Adam's Family, yet bright and slightly trippy color schemes keep it fresh.  Whoever does the costumes for this show is a genius.  Basically, Pushing Daisies fits the bill for a good show: intriguing plot, fucked up family members, matching personality disorders, death, gore, and a loveable protagonist who seems to grow cuter (and yet more nerdy?) every single episode.  Wednesday nights will never be the same.  (Sorry, Project Runway)

Juno

I am so excited for this movie. First of all, our heroine, Juno, is amazing. And our hero is adorable. And together they make the cutest teenage parent couple ever. And it also happens to be by the same director of "Thank You For Smoking." I can't even begin to explain how ready I am to see this movie, so I'm just going to paste in the movie poster.

Jesus, etc.

Today was cold.  Frozen, even.  If anyone needs a reference point, my friend from Virginia (who also witnessed the greatest documented snowfall Rhode Island has ever had) thought it was cold.  So I suppose my chattering teeth and numb toes have proper justification.

To further beat around the bush, I'm going to talk about the man himself.  The big Decider.  I was watching Daily Show reruns and saw a quote that I love..."An Iraqi child could never understand the joys of Chanukah."  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, yours truly Mr. Bushie said this one.  And tonight, as I unwrapped volume I of Sesame Street, I realized that not even the big Bush himself could understand the joys of watching Jackie Robinson chilling with Oscar the Grouch.

But that's not what I want to talk about.  What I really want to do is...well...admit that I am sort of maybe kind of...well...wrong.  OKAY I said it!!! I was plain wrong about the ADL program!!!  (Hear that Trocchio?  You can stop sucking that water weenie now!?)  Anyway it turned out well...I now have a friend who can tell me how much he can bench press.  (Which, if you couldn't already tell, is not exactly the top quality I usually search for in a pal.)  Mostly I just look for someone who can put up with my crazy brain...but you know what?  I found someone in ASB...yes, everyone, the big Asshole Klan itself, who can do just that.  New friends are always fun, but this time they are just random.  Which kind of makes me love them more.  SO FINE, Troch, you are off the hook for now, but I'm sure that by tomorrow I'll be able to point out some other stupid shit that you have done...*cough cough* "the dream football field" *cough cough*

Water Weenies and Socioeconomic Reforms

Okay, I'm going to make one thing clear right now.  This post has nothing to do with Water Weenies or Socioeconomic Reforms.

However, it does have to do with school and the ADL project.  Which is exactly what you would expect, much like water weenies, I suppose.  And as a water weenie fan, I am incredibly disappointed by the silliness of the program.  We are supposed to be fighting RACISM...and yet somehow we are still talking about high school cliques?  Did anyone ever think that the only reason that we HAVE cliques is because high school teachers always try to make it seem like we do?  We don't all fit in to one category, adults!!!  We are all individuals, and trying to make us fit into neat little boxes doesn't work anymore.  In fact, I doubt it ever did.  Life isn't some clean cut little package that you can safely tuck away.  It isn't black and white.  It's messy and sloppy and nasty and gross and grey...like a booger.  Life is like a big fat booger, and adults are trying to just cover it all up with tissues.   There is not enough Kleenex in the world, let me just tell you that.

So go grab yourself a water weenie and SUCK IT!!

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

So right now I'm in my temple youth group lounge with my pally Leah Schoenfeld who is currently a toaster. She may grow up to be a refrigerator.

Regardless, I am about to embark on what is sure to be the greatest adventure of our teenage lives, my second NFTY FALL weekend. So I'll be back on Sunday with plenty of insightful and witty banter for the cyber world to enjoy. Peace!
(by the way, the title of this entry happens to be a book by Chuck Klosterman. Go read it.)

The Present Is Lame

Models used to be fat.

And they were hot.

I miss the 1930s.

Cupcakes and Communism

So as my Spanish class knows, I am a commie.

Loving communist ideals is just one of those things I can't help, like menstruation and loving 10 Things I Hate About You.  So here is my idea.

Last week my pal Marisa and I were making some delicious cupcakes.

I noticed that in order to make good cupcakes, you have to put equal batter in each cup...

and equal frosting on each cupcake...

and everyone gets the same amount of delicious morsels.

And whether you are the unfortunate parent who has to make the cupcakes...

or the kindergardener with blue frosting on its face...

you get the same amount of cupcake.

Therefore, universe, I pose to you this groundbreaking culinary concept:

Cupcakes are a perfect example of communism.

[And why it is so delicious.]

When Jon Stewart Blows Your Mind...

So I'm watching the Daily Show right now.  It's a re-run but I haven't seen this one before...which is a pretty rare occasion.

So anyway...Barack Obama is on the show.  And I'm listening to his voice.  And his tone.  And his language.  And it BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND.

He speaks with ELOQUENCE!  He uses words like "quagmire" and "Iraq" without sounding like a damn fool.  And it blows my mind BECAUSE all I can think about is..."so WHY didn't we get this before??"  And suddenly I'm reminded of why I so often fail to identify with America.  BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING CRAZY.  [I know, it is a little bit late to have this realization, but bear with me here]  How is it that we have this president that can't speak, while a man so much younger than him is not only a great speaker, but can carry on intelligent conversation that ISN'T written out for him.  Wow.  Growing up under the Bush regime has certainly been a ride, and you know what?  I'm just so ecstatic for it to be over.

The only thing I'm going to miss about old Bushie is that I'm no longer going to be able to laugh whenever the president opens his [or her!] mouth.  Oh well, I guess I'll have to go buy another Dane Cook album.

       

happy smallpox day [thanksgiving].

So What Now?

Feeling old is nothing new to me.  I just feel old.  Not in the achy boned, denture glued, hip replaced way that actual old people do.  But old in the way that makes me feel young.  Which doesn't make sense.  But on the way to my desk chair I stubbed my toe and it hurts.  So please forgive my nonsense.

Okay.  So today is November 19th.  The memorial day of a girl I never knew.  Lesley Carrion.  I never even got to meet you, and yet I feel like I know you.  It's an oddity that I will never grow accustomed to.  It's weird for me to tell your sister: we will never  forget you.  Because I don't have any memories to forget.  Isn't it weird how you can love someone on a leap of faith?  I don't know, I think it is.

My toe still hurts.

Anyway, back to my first point.  I feel old.  I just registered for driver's education online.  Which should make me feel young...I mean, most of my friends already drive and have cars and everything.  But it makes me feel old.  Not in a way that makes me want to go buy a power chair, but in a way that makes me excited.  I'm going to drive.  (Just like in the song by Dispatch!)

That's all.