Friday, November 30, 2007

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs

So right now I'm in my temple youth group lounge with my pally Leah Schoenfeld who is currently a toaster. She may grow up to be a refrigerator.

Regardless, I am about to embark on what is sure to be the greatest adventure of our teenage lives, my second NFTY FALL weekend. So I'll be back on Sunday with plenty of insightful and witty banter for the cyber world to enjoy. Peace!
(by the way, the title of this entry happens to be a book by Chuck Klosterman. Go read it.)

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Present Is Lame

Models used to be fat.
And they were hot.
I miss the 1930s.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Cupcakes and Communism

So as my Spanish class knows, I am a commie.
Loving communist ideals is just one of those things I can't help, like menstruation and loving 10 Things I Hate About You.  So here is my idea.

Last week my pal Marisa and I were making some delicious cupcakes.
I noticed that in order to make good cupcakes, you have to put equal batter in each cup...
and equal frosting on each cupcake...
and everyone gets the same amount of delicious morsels.
And whether you are the unfortunate parent who has to make the cupcakes...
or the kindergardener with blue frosting on its face...
you get the same amount of cupcake.

Therefore, universe, I pose to you this groundbreaking culinary concept:
Cupcakes are a perfect example of communism.
[And why it is so delicious.]

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

When Jon Stewart Blows Your Mind...

So I'm watching the Daily Show right now.  It's a re-run but I haven't seen this one before...which is a pretty rare occasion.

So anyway...Barack Obama is on the show.  And I'm listening to his voice.  And his tone.  And his language.  And it BLOWS MY FUCKING MIND.

He speaks with ELOQUENCE!  He uses words like "quagmire" and "Iraq" without sounding like a damn fool.  And it blows my mind BECAUSE all I can think about is..."so WHY didn't we get this before??"  And suddenly I'm reminded of why I so often fail to identify with America.  BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING CRAZY.  [I know, it is a little bit late to have this realization, but bear with me here]  How is it that we have this president that can't speak, while a man so much younger than him is not only a great speaker, but can carry on intelligent conversation that ISN'T written out for him.  Wow.  Growing up under the Bush regime has certainly been a ride, and you know what?  I'm just so ecstatic for it to be over.

The only thing I'm going to miss about old Bushie is that I'm no longer going to be able to laugh whenever the president opens his [or her!] mouth.  Oh well, I guess I'll have to go buy another Dane Cook album.
Three's a Party Art Print by Andy Warhol       
happy smallpox day [thanksgiving].

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Monday, November 19, 2007

So What Now?

Feeling old is nothing new to me.  I just feel old.  Not in the achy boned, denture glued, hip replaced way that actual old people do.  But old in the way that makes me feel young.  Which doesn't make sense.  But on the way to my desk chair I stubbed my toe and it hurts.  So please forgive my nonsense.

Okay.  So today is November 19th.  The memorial day of a girl I never knew.  Lesley Carrion.  I never even got to meet you, and yet I feel like I know you.  It's an oddity that I will never grow accustomed to.  It's weird for me to tell your sister: we will never  forget you.  Because I don't have any memories to forget.  Isn't it weird how you can love someone on a leap of faith?  I don't know, I think it is.

My toe still hurts.

Anyway, back to my first point.  I feel old.  I just registered for driver's education online.  Which should make me feel young...I mean, most of my friends already drive and have cars and everything.  But it makes me feel old.  Not in a way that makes me want to go buy a power chair, but in a way that makes me excited.  I'm going to drive.  (Just like in the song by Dispatch!)

That's all.