bubble toes

A few weeks ago, someone told me about a new artist called Colbie Caillat. she told me that Colbie was like Jack Johnson: calm, soothing, and a great guitarist. as the daughter of Ken Caillat, an executive producer working with Fleetwood Mac, i was expecting something mediocre at worst. i'm sad to say that her hit single, "Bubbly," made me bleed from the eyeballs. Yes, she is an actual vocalist who writes her own songs and plays guitar. there is no doubt that those two things win points to even the worst of pop artists. However, what i've begun to realize is that Colbie is frustrating. too often everyone boasts "she is the female version of Jack Johnson." But she is really just the mixture of everything that people HATE about Jack Johnson. Her lyrics are tacky, her songs are overplayed, and advertise ridiculously staged and cheesy romantic situations. It's like a bad movie full of fake love. you think "ooooh, a new guilty pleasure!" and then you realize that there is no pleasure. i'm sorry, coco, but go back to LA.